If you see something, keep it under your hat.

If you see something, say something.Every once in a while, you’re sitting on a train, and you notice an unattended bag sitting underneath a seat. The first reaction is OMG the signs say I should say something if I see something!! But you ignore it. You have to get where you’re going and you’ll get killed by 10,000 people if you report it. They’ll stop the train and hold up every other train in the tri-state area. This sort of disruption will not help you win a spot on the city council, fine sir. Some might say, “What if it really is a bomb?” It’s not a bomb, stupid. It’s some idiot’s groceries or some chubby fellow’s gym clothing. Throwing off the whole train system and alerting every bomb sniffing dog in the continental United States so some lucky MTA employee can happen upon a few cantaloupes or some guy’s smelly jock strap is just plain wrong. We all stare at it, looking at everyone else on the train notice and sort of shrug sheepishly, because they have to get to their job at some high-powered firm or man the counter at some fast food establishment. Call the cops? Nobody has ever bombed the NYC subway before and guess what. That little Duane Reade bag won’t be the first, no matter how badly you want to be the hero. So I say sit down Ms. Go-getter. Just because some silly yutz might miss his bag of Cheetos doesn’t mean everyone else should miss their doctor’s appointments or weekly excursions to his or her favorite lady of the evening. That sort of selfishness should not and will not be tolerated.

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