This seat taken?

Three SeaterTwo large people bookending a three seater on the subway and some tremendous monster, typically dressed in sweats stolen from a family member that left to fight for the Confederate Army and never returned, gestures as though they’d like to squeeze in. The two larger folk stare up, dumbfounded that this hippopotamus is going to test the physics of the subway seat. I have no clue what the weight limit is, but I doubt they intented for a rhino, elephant and recently beached whale to share the row. What’s even worse is when you have one guy sitting in the center seat of the three human chair, but he has his legs spread open so wide, it seems like a Lamaze coach and a midwife should be on hand for the impending delivery. Problem is, the guy always looks as though he just stabbed a baby, a puppy and his elderly grandmother. All at once. With a really long knife, apparently. So you can’t ask him to pick a frikkin’ side. I won’t, anyway.

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